Happy birthday, sister

Happy birthday, sister!(And mad respect to that peak 90s style going on.)It’s been two years since I vanished from this platform. Two years of going from thinking I was okay (but really putting duct tape on cracked pipes) to actually finding out how to not just be okay, but to be happy. It sometimes feels quite wrong to be happy in a world where Katie can’t be. But I also know she would totally approve of my pursuit of happiness. She’d be proud of me, I think. She’d be glad that I stopped taking myself too seriously, that I found a job that doesn’t consume me, that I’m letting myself love deeply, create imperfectly, and thrive joyfully.It’s weird to find myself living a full life finally. It’s bittersweet. For one, it was my goal, a promise I made to her when she died. If I got to live on this earth and had the privilege to live a long life, I would live it well. I would ensure I used this time in a full way and not hide from life and pain. On the other hand, she isn’t here. She’s not here to roll her eyes at me, tease my boyfriend, judge my attempt at art, laugh at my sassy puppy, or just have a margarita with me. And that sucks. But I’m here today after ghosting this account to say grief is forever, but it can live alongside joy. I can live a life that honors my sister and I can still curse her for not being here. I can feel both things. And I can do it all while drinking a margarita in my sister’s honor. Happy birthday, Katie! It sucks you aren’t here. It’s fucking weird that you have been gone for nearly 5 years. A million things have happened. Heck, 2020 was a century’s worth of events. But it still feels sometimes like I’ve just got the news, and it’s stupid that you won’t answer if I call your number.#grief #sisterhood #sisterloss
#inspiration #bestinspiration #Best